Dear myself,

It is that time again that we feel that unnecessary longing. The time that we are aware that we are alone, and lonely. The time that we miss someone who we are not supposed to miss. And if we try to remember the reasons of that hatred, our heart aches.

Were we wrong to love? Were we wrong to have such feeling to someone who would not return it? Were we wrong to stay? Were we foolish to keep on feeling the same way, to swallow all the heartaches and bitter words just for the sake of being there, beside that person? Were we foolish to love?

That time had become our regret as opposed to sweet memories. The more we think of it, the more we feel bitter, and in turn, the more our heart hurt.

The anger. The loneliness. The longing. The hatred.

The contradicting emotions are inside us right now. And how it tears us.

We promised not to feel this way, myself. We promised to cherish those time, even with all the pains. We promised to learn from that experience, so we would do something better next time.

And we had expected that 'next time' would not come in just a second.

We... cannot deny, that our heart needs someone to embrace it. To warm us from this freezing, stabbing feeling we have. To melt the shield that we built to protect ourselves from new pains, and yet keeping the old pains inside.

...Someone out there would be there for us.

Until that time... let's be strong... myself.

It is cold.

But it will be warm.

Soon.

At its time.